It's been quite a year for the Harrisburg Senators. To start, the club opened a brand new stadium that rivals any in minor league baseball and hosted the Eastern League All-Star Game. Months before Washington DC first celebrated Stras-mas, the holiday spirit swept through Harrisburg. Drew Storen, another huge prospect who ended up in Washington, also started the season on City Island. Modern legend and World Series hero Orlando Hernandez made a brief cameo too.

Now, after another wretched start to the season—mirabile dictu—the Senators started selling playoff tickets yesterday morning. That's right, playoff tickets.

Now let's not get ahead of ourselves—the Senators haven't clinched a postseason berth. They are currently a half game ahead of Bowie and one game up in the loss column for the Western Division's Wild Card playoff spot with seven games to play. All of those games are on the road, but five are against Binghamton, which is currently seven games under .500. Two of Bowie's six remaining games are at home, and four are against Richmond, who is also seven games under .500. It's really too close to call.

The Senators have one of the proudest histories in minor league baseball, but to put this in perspective, the last time they made the playoffs Cliff Lee was in their rotation and Brandon Phillips was playing second base. Since 2002, the team has gone a collective 513-615 and watched the Hershey Bears completely take over the hearts of Central Pennsylvania sports fans.

You can buy tickets online, in person or by calling the box office at 231-4444. Here's all the information you need if you're interested.

Schedule

Division Championship Series (best of five)

Game One: Wednesday, September 8th (2nd place at 1st place)

Game Two: Thursday, September 9th (2nd place at 1st place)

Game Three: Friday, September 10th (1st place at 2nd place)

Game Four: Saturday, September 11th (1st place at 2nd place, if necessary)

Game Five: Sunday, September 12th (2nd place at 1st place, if necessary)

Eastern League Championship Series (best of five)

Game One: Tuesday, September 14th (East at West)

Game Two: Wednesday, September 15th (East at West)
Game Three: Thursday, September 16th (West at East)

Game Four: Friday, September 17th (West at East, if necessary)
Game Five: Saturday, September 18th (West at East, if necessary)

Ticket Prices

Club Seats: $30.00

Dugout Box Seats: $12.50

Field Box Seats: $11.00

Box Seats: $9.00
Reserve Seats: $5.00

I don't deal with stress well. Don't get me wrong, I love being busy, but when I'm legitimately stressed, I'm a textbook case of what not to do. Basically, I push myself to the limit and then turn to some comfort object to blow off steam. Usually that means ingesting substances that aren't good for the body. Calm down. Not those kind of substances. If you'd get arrested or fired for doing it, it's not on the list.

Things have been pretty crazy lately, so I've been leaning on my typical crutches, and since I work in downtown Harrisburg and park on City Island, I usually have to make due with things that are close at hand. If you're having a bad day, bad week or bad month and need to indulge yourself with a pick-me-up, here are five of my favorites in Harrisburg.

1. Oreo Smoothie at Downtown Cafe: The fine folks at the Downtown Cafe recently added smoothies to the menu, and this one is knee-weakening. One frustrating day, I walked in and told the the staff to, "make me something sweet." This is what came out. I don't know what's in it, but a good chunk of the office has become completely addicted to them. They're chocolatey and creamy, but still cold and refreshing. The only downside is you have to suck them down pretty quickly before they melt. With a tip, one will run you about a five spot.

2. The Grud from Zembies: Zembies is slowly starting to update the names of some of its Senators-themed sandwiches, but there is still work to be done. At this point, we could probably all live without the Tony Armas, and that's not a knock on gyros. But like the man himself, the plate named after Mark Grudzielanek is always a good choice. It's basically just a hot roast beef or turkey sandwich with gravy; the ultimate comfort food. But what pushes The Grud over the top is getting it with fries. Gravy fries. Mmmmmm...

3. Chocolate Covered Pretzels from The Candy Store: They obviously didn't spend a whole lot of time on the name, but the friendly people at The Candy Store in Strawberry Square have an incredible selection of the sweet stuff. They have gummies in every color in the artificial dye rainbow, but I stick with the hand-dipped chocolates. Occasionally I'll go for malted milk balls or chocolate-covered peanuts, but the thin chocolate-covered pretzels are where it's at. They've found the perfect balance of chocolate to pretzel.

4. A Few Pacificos at El Sol: There are places downtown with a better selection of beer (the new Shady McGrady's Downtown, which has roughly 12,160). There are places downtown with cheaper beer (take your pick). But I posit that Pacifico is the perfectly lunctime beer, and El Sol is downtown Harrisburg's only Mexcan joint. Beer snobs might hold up their noses, but for Mexican beer, Pacifico has a lot of flavor. It's crisp, light and at El Sol, very cold, meaning it won't slow you down for the afternoon. If fact, two or three might even perk you up and get rid of those knots in your shoulders.

5. Chicken Barbeque Sandwich from Cafe Fresco: I find Cafe Fresco to be unnecessarily expensive for lunch, but sometimes this sandwich gets the better of me. It's massive, and if you get it to go, it comes with about three servings of french fries. The sandwich itself is grilled barbeque chicken with red onion, mozzarella, cilantro and frizzled onions (onion straws). Yes, that's two varieties of onion. The sandwich is delicious, especially with Fresco's very solid fries, but it will make you stink to high hell. It's worth it.

Have a list of your favorites from York, Lancaster, Carlisle or any other town in Central PA? Shoot me an email. We'd love to hear from you.

1. Dauphin County Jazz Festival: September 11 & 12 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
2. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
3. Williams Grove Steam Show: August 29–September 6 at Williams Grove, Mechanicsburg
4. Columbia-Wrightsville Bridge Bust: Saturday, October 2 at the Columbia-Wrightsville Bridge, Columbia
5. Annual Shippensburg Corn Festival: Saturday, August 28 in downtown Shippensburg
6. New Cumberland Apple Festival: Saturday, September 28 in Borough Park, New Cumberland
7. Fort Hunter Day: Sunday, September 19 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
8. Long's Park Art & Craft Festival: September 3–6 at Long's Park, Lancaster
9.15th Annual Hanover Chili Cook Off: Sunday, September 5 at the Good Field Complex, Hanover
10. Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire: Through October 31 at Mount Hope Estate & Winery, Manheim

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I have a confession to make. For the past three consecutive seasons, I’ve been obsessed with Dancing with the Stars. Not so much the glitz and glam of the show itself, but the underlying notion that with the right amount of guidance, anyone can learn to ballroom dance. Like many DWTS fans, I’d watch the show every week, my toes tapping along to the poor rendition of the latest Katie Perry song wondering if I could learn to Rumba like Erin Andrews.

Picking up on my sudden fascination, my boyfriend decided to surprise me with dance lessons for our two-year anniversary. He’d packaged the gift certificate and circa 1985 marketing pamphlet atop a dozen long-stem roses and sent them over to my office. The flowers were quite beautiful, but the outdated brochure made me wonder if ballroom dancing wasn’t as cool as it looked on TV.

We arrived at the dance studio with two pints of liquid courage in our systems, for extra encouragement. Our instructor asked us which dances we wanted to learn and our lesson began. Forty-five minutes later we’d learned a few basic moves that even my two left feet could comprehend. This was going great. We set up our next session and left the studio excited about our accomplishment.

It wasn’t until later in the week that the relationship took a turn for the worst. Much like seasoned used-car salesmen, they called…and called, insisting that we commit to a larger package of classes that would put us back more than $100 a lesson.

Completely turned off by their pricey classes and pushy sales tactics, I started looking around for a better deal. Thanks to this month’s MODE magazine, I didn’t have to look far.

The restaurants and clubs of downtown Harrisburg offer a great selection of affordable dance lessons. The first and third Wednesday of every month, The Quarter hosts Swing Dance Night for $7 a class ($5 for members). You can Salsa the night away at Level 2 the second Thursday of the month for $2, or try Latin dancing at Privado the last Wednesday of every month.

Don’t be fooled by expensive dance studios that promise the best. I learned just as much from my $2 dance lesson at Level 2 than Larry, the used-car salesman could teach me for $100. The atmosphere at Level 2 was exponentially better than that of the drab dance studio and the people were great. Take it from my experience, if you’re looking to do something different this month, grab a partner and give ballroom dancing a whirl.  It may just surprise you.

1. Dauphin County Jazz Festival: September 11 & 12 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
2. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
3. Fort Hunter Day: Sunday, September 19 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
4. Hershey Half Marathon: Sunday, October 3 at Hersheypark Stadium, Hershey
5. Long's Park Art & Craft Festival: September 3–6 at Long's Park, Lancaster
6. South Mountain Fair: August 17–19 at South Mountain Fairgrounds, Arendtsville
7. New Cumberland Apple Festival: Saturday, September 25 at Borough Park, New Cumberland
8. Harvest of the Arts Festival: Saturday, September 25 in downtown Carlisle
9. 15th Annual Hanover Chili Cook Off: Sunday, September 5 at the Good Field Complex, Hanover
10. Attack The Gap 10k: Saturday, August 21 at Kings Gap State Park, Carlisle

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Every summer my sister and I migrate north to Klingerstown for the Summerfest Wine Festival at Benigna’s Creek Winery. The event is pretty simple. After a small admission fee you are given a glass and left to visit with each of the wineries on hand to find out which wines are best for you. You can stick by beloved Cabernet Francs or Chardonnays or be more adventurous and try wines like Cosmic Charisma or Bell Bottom Blueberry. Traditional or whimsical, whatever your fancy, it's there.

Each winery is unique so the afternoon never gets old. Some wineries have a featured wine, while others have specialty drinks featuring one of their wines. I've been going for a few years and I've always found everyone to be extremely pleasant to chat with and more than happy to answer questions. My sister and I are definitely not wine connoisseurs, but over the past few summers we have learned a lot and have enjoyed doing so.

The Summerfest Wine festival is also an opportunity to get together with friends and family. There is a huge tent for picnics (every winery keeps wine chilled for the picnickers), horse drawn wagon rides through the vineyard, a DJ, food vendors if you don’t feel like packing a lunch or snacks and crafts ranging from pottery to jewelry. There is also complimentary wine service where staff will take your purchased wine out to the parking lot until you are ready to leave so you don't have to tote around all your wonderful finds.

If you are familiar with the Susquehanna Heartland wine trail, a lot of the wineries present should sound familiar: Shade Mountain Winery, Spyglass Ridge Winery, Brookmere Winery, Adams County Winery, Long Trout Winery, Red Shale Ridge Vineyards, Sand Castle Winery and of course, Benigna’s Creek Winery.

Overall, my experiences at the Summerfest Wine Festival have been awesome. It is a great opportunity to enjoy some of the goodness that comes straight out of Central PA. I would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a good time, with good people who have great wine. Obviously next year's event is a long way away, but many of the wineries on Spotobe have other events where you can sample great local wine. In fact, this Saturday, Spyglass Ridge winery will host its annual Celtic Festival. All of the wineries offer regular tastings as well, and some of them are even free. Whether you're a wine novice or a connoisseur looking to get into the local scene, be sure to check out some of the wineries listed above.

I've got to get something off of my chest. I initially felt as though it wasn't my place to say something. Like I was making a big deal out of nothing. But after talking to Dori, who has two young children, and Mark, who has a baby boy of his own, I feel a little bit more confident putting this out there. I'd like to preface what follows by saying that no, I do not have children. I don't understand the stress of watching over a little one.

On a recent Saturday night, my wife and I went out for a spur of the moment dinner date. It was no big deal. We were sitting around on the couch after working out in the yard in the morning, and decided that it might be nice to go out. We tried a place that we'd never been before, which will remain nameless. This restaurant is certainly not a fine-dining establishment. More casual chic. At the same time, it's not a family restaurant either; most meals cost between $20 and $30 dollars. This wasn't dinner at the Ritz, but it wasn't the Cracker Barrel either.

We were sharing our corner of the dining room with a few other groups. One of those groups included a mother with a child who appeared to be, oh, between two and three. It quickly became apparent that the child wasn't all that interested in sitting down for dinner. During our appetizer course, the little one went zooming by the table, trying to make an escape. It was cute, it was kind of funny, and I couldn't help but smile.

Then while we were enjoying our salad and another glass of wine, the child went flying by again. And then a third time, giggling all the while. When the mother went to retrieve for a third time, a waitress stopped her and, very politely, asked that she could keep the child from running through the dining room. She explained that the wait staff often carried around large trays that made it impossible to see things down low, i.e. a small child. She said that she didn't want to be mean, but she just wanted to make sure that the child didn't get hurt. She was very pleasant and the mother said she understood.

But throughout the rest of the meal, the child continue to treat the interior of the restaurant like a playground, and I have to admit, at this point it started to irritate me. The waitress had handled the situation in the right way, and the mother blatantly ignored her. In the end, my wife and I had a very pleasant dinner, but I can't help but feeling that if you're child isn't ready to make it through a meal at a "real" restaurant, then you shouldn't be taking him or her to one in the first place. And if you're going to take the child, it's your responsibility to make sure he or she doesn't disturb anyone else at the restaurant.

I have a high tolerance for this kind of thing, and I'm generally the one who shakes his head at snotty people being difficult. Is that what I'm doing here? Help me out; where do you stand on young children in restaurants that aren't exactly family-friendly?

It might be more addicting than the cigarettes. It might be more addicting than crack cocaine. People need their coffee, and everyone goes through different trials and tribulations in search of the bean. Hectic mornings in the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru. Being jostled in a packed Starbucks. Freezing rain on the walk to the Downtown Café counter. Coffee’s a year round phenomenon. It’s your routine, your habit, your caffeine dependence. It's steaming right under your nose, beckoning on your desk.

People, wake up and smell the baking asphalt. It’s 90-some degrees out there. You don’t drink hot chocolate while your basking out on our deck relaxing at the end of the day, do you? Mix it up with a smoothie—the perfect healthy, cold, fruitilicious summer treat.  Here are two of my favorite places in the Harrisburg area who’ve mastered the ancient Brazilian purée art of smoothie mixing:

Juice ‘n’ Java: 5258 Simpson Ferry Rd, Mechanicsburg

Raves to the home of the best whole, fresh-fruit smoothies in the area. Most Juice ‘n’ Java regulars like me will fess up their addiction to the smoothies. Personally, I’m a sucker for Strawberry-Coconut. Browse through the options; Polynesian Punch, Strawberry Colada, Dangerous Liaisons, Caribbean Dawn, the Mo-Jo, a Man, Mad, Mango, the Mo-Jo and a Mr. Frantic—indulge yourself with a boost shot (energy, mind, mood, vitamin, slim, flex and protein) for 75 extra cents.

I know it’s there, but restrain yourself from glancing over to the latte menu…

If you do surrender, start converting yourself over and make it a fruit frap. If you’re hungry, the food’s tasty too. Stop back for lunch and support the masters.

Juicy Rumors: 512 North Third St, Harrisburg

Nestled conveniently right on 3^rd Street, stop into the Harrisburg branch of the West Shore Farmer’s Market favorite. A little goes a long way at Juicy Rumors, famous for their ginger kick. Pick out a smoothie or venture for a squeezed-by-the-hands-in-front-of-you juice mixture. The delicious organic elixir didn’t soak out the morning caffeine crave? Solve your problems and sample the ginger shooter.

Catch them open weekdays in the burg, or visit the Market on the weekends.

Ricketts Glen State Park

Benton, PA
Distance From Harrisburg: 113 Miles
Drive Time: 2 hours and 12 minutes
Map/Directions
Pricing
Contact: (570) 477-5675

Having camped at Ricketts Glen before, I can tell you that it features a gorgeous (ha!) landscape unlike almost any other park in Pennsylvania. The run features 22 named water falls, including the 94-foot Ganoga Falls, and is Pennsylvania's ninth-largest state park at a robust 13,050 acres.

The Falls Gorge Trail is the main attraction at Rickett's Glen, and doing both the upper and lower sections is, well, a hike at 7.2 miles. There's also a 3.2 mile loop made up of a few smaller trails that includes all of the major waterfalls and most of the falls period. In addition to hiking the gorge, campers at Rickets Glen can fish, swim, canoe and kayak in 245-acre lake Jean. If you don't have a canoe or kayak, there are rentals available. 

Camping Details
The park includes 120 tent and trailer campsites and offers bath houses with hot showers and flush toilets. Pets are allowed, but given that it is a state park, alcohol is not. With that said, if you have a beer or two in your campsite and don't flaunt it, you're not likely to get in trouble, just don't be a jerk. There are also ten modern rental cabins available year round.

Deep Creek Lake State Park

Swanton, MD
Distance From Harrisburg: 182 Miles
Drive Time: 3 hours and 13 minutes
Map/Directions
Pricing
Contact: (301) 387-5563

I've never camped at Deep Creek Lake, but I did stay in a house there. This is probably not the best option for people looking for an inexpensive camping trip, because the main activities in the park are boating and water skiing, which can get pretty pricey. The lake itself is 3,900 acres and has 65 miles of shoreline. That makes it smaller than Pennsylvania's own Raystown Lake by almost half, but what separates Deep Creek from Raystown is all of the stuff going on around the lake and on the shore.

If you rent a house and a boat for a few days, it can literally be your only means of transportation. You can grocery shop, go to restaurants, go to the movies or go out at night using the lake without ever jumping in the car. Of course, this post is about camping, but you could still rent a boat for a day and cruise around checking out all the awesome houses on the banks. There are boat races on weekends all summer. I've never been, but apparently there's some very fun whitewater tubing available on Deep Creek.

Camping Details:
Deep Creek Lake State Park offers roughly 110 regular campsites, all with access to modern amenities like hot water and flush toilets. There are also mini-cabins and shelters available. Some sites allow pets and some do not.

Ohiopyle State Park, Ohiopyle, PA

Distance From Harrisburg: 167 Miles
Drive Time: 3 hours 7 minutes
Map/Directions
Pricing
Contact: (724) 329-8591

Ohiopyle State Park is one of Pennsylvania's largest parks at 20,499 acres. It's also one of its most stunning. The center of attention here is a churning, tumbling section of the Youghiogheny River that makes for some of the best white water rafting in this part of the country. There are a number of class III and IV rapids in the section of the river between Ohiopyle falls and the Bruner Run Take-Out. If you know what you're doing, you can run them in a kayak or canoe. If you don't, you can get on one of the guided rafting trips offered by companies like Ohiopyle Trading Post, Wilderness Voyagers, Laurel Highlands River Tours or Whitewater Adventurers.

There's more to Ohiopyle than just rafting though. There's plenty of hiking, and the Youghiogheny provides for good wilderness trout fishing. There are also two dedicated climbing areas and a number of walls appropriate for climbers of any level. If you would like to learn to climb, many of the same outfitters that offer rafting trips do climbing expeditions as well. For my money, the coolest and most unique thing about Ohiopyle are the natural waterslides in nearby Meadow Run. They're an absolute blast.

Camping Details:
Ohiopyle includes 226 campsites, 27 of which are walk-in sites that are extremely private but require a walk from the parking area to the site. There are a number of washhouses with hot water and flush toilets and there are playgrounds for the kiddos. Pets are prohibited in Ohiopyle. In addition to regular campsites, the park offers a number of rustic cottages available to for rent.

Watkins Glen State Park, Watkins Glen, NY

Distance From Harrisburg: 183 Miles
Drive Time: 3 hours 23 minutes
Map/Directions
Pricing
Contact: (607) 535-4511

Watkins Glen is one of my favorite places on the planet. I've been camping there more times than I can even remember, and it never disappoints. Just be sure not to go when NASCAR is in town, otherwise you'll run into a complete zoo.

The main attraction in the state park is a gorge that is positively stunning. It's a fairly easy hike up and down the gorge, and every step is worth it. Huge waterfalls cascade over paths carved into the rock and spill down through a rugged canyon. It's the closest you'll ever get to visiting Tolkein's Rivendell in real life. At the top of the gorge, there's a rest area with a concession stand, and if your legs won't carry you back down, you can always catch a shuttle. When the path climbs up and out of the gorge, you can actually move into the creek and continue further up stream. Probably not completely within the rules, but it's a lot of fun. There are other trails too, including one that skirts the rim of the gorge at the very top.

Nestled on the banks of Seneca Lake, the town of Watkins Glen isn't anything amazing. It has some small town charm, a few nice restaurants and a gorgeous hotel that looks out on to the lake. It's smack dab in the middle of New York wine country, so there's way more wineries within close driving distance that you could possibly handle in one day. Tastings are cheap; most will run you only a dollar or two for a flight of about five wines.

There are also activities on the lake, including dinner cruises and fishing charters. If you're staying for a few days, the quaint college town of Ithaca, home to Ithaca College and Cornell University, is only at the other end of the lake.

Camping Details:
Watkins Glen State Park includes 305 wooded campsites, and they make for some of the nicest camping around. The bathrooms have reliable hot water and flush toilets and the bathhouses are generally kept nice and clean. Many of the sites in the campground are completely private, with a driveway leading back to a large tent/camper area. The campground is an awesome place to see stars, and there is plenty of firewood available for your camp fire.

The campground also includes a number of playgrounds for the kids and has a huge pool in the day-use area.

1. Lititz Rotary Craft Show: Saturday, August 14 in Lititz Springs Park, Lititz
2. Marysville Lions Carnival: Through August 7 at Lions Park, Marysville
3. Dauphin County Jazz Festival: September 11 & 12 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
4. George F. Hempt Memorial Polo Match: Saturday, August 14 at Hempt Farms, Mechanicsburg
5. Historic Canoe Trip: Saturday, August 14 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
6. South Mountain Fair: August 17–19 at South Mountain Fairgrounds, Arendsville
7. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
8. Perry County Fair: August 19–24 at the Perry County Fairgrounds, Newport
9. Attack the Gap: Saturday, August 21 at Kings Gap State Park, Carlisle
10. Columbia Wrightsville Bridge Bust: Saturday, October 2 on the Columbia-Wrightsville Bridge

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Quick! Only a few weeks left and the kids go back even sooner! Get up from your pool-side lounge and at least pick one goal off of your pre-summer to-do list to conquer. You don't want those halcyon summer days to feel completely wasted once they’re gone.

Weren't even ambitions enough to start a list? That's what we're here for. Time's running out, so get cracking on one of these:

10. Read a book. Maybe you got distracted at the beach. Or maybe you just slept while your stomach broiled like a crabcake. Hit up your local library and take a look. If you’re into intellectual action and witty dialogue, browse through Steven Crais, Steven King or Elmore Leonard. If you haven’t jumped on the Twilight bandwagon yet, you better hop on before the fourth movie. For a romantic selection, get a hold of the 2010 Pulitzer Prize winner, Tinkers by Paul Harding. It's a beautifully written story of a man reminiscing through the life of his father. (Justin's Note: If you're looking for a book that will get you some lit cred, try anything by South African author J.M. Coetzee, Last Orders or Waterland by English Author Graham Swift or a book I just finished, Ken Kesey's Sometimes A Great Notion.)

9. Jazz. Summer is the perfect time to hit up an outdoor music event. The Hotel Hershey's Jazz on the veranda is always popular, and you'll find plenty if you search the weekends here on Spotobe for “jazz.”

8. Pick up a Frisbee. I know, it’s been years since you’ve held one in your hands. Dig one out of the garage, or, if you struggle with your dog's favorite toy like I do, pick up the high-tech, idiot-proof version, the aerobie. Go on amazon.com and pick out a little pro ring.

7. Hit the water in a canoe or kayak. Get out on the water while it’s still nice and the gnat population is on the DL. Apparently it won’t be the same next year. Refer back to Justin’s post for rental locations.

6. Take the family to a Senators game or Hersheypark. Don’t let summer end without a family outing. Both baseball season and rollercoaster season are rapidly coming to a close.

5. Drive in to the drive-ins. Stuff the van with blankets, pillows and a few chairs and head out to Harr’s for a double feature. Only seven bucks a head and kids under 11 are $3. While you’re in the car, head out 322 to the Red Rabbit. Pack on a few extra greasy calories for the winter and enjoy burgers, fries, BBQ or a hand-spun milkshake at the old-fashioned 50's style drive-in restaurant. Unless you drive past it constantly on the way to Penn State games, you’d probably forgotten about it, hadn’t you?

If that's too much of a trip, check out Whistle Stop on Route 15 for train-track inspired hamburger and hotdog concoctions. There's Sonic too, but that's not nearly as fun.

4. Plan a weekend camping trip. When was the last time you roughed it out in the woods? Head out to Pincho or Mt Gretna or, if constricted by time and resources, throw up the tent right in the backyard. Don’t forget a box of graham crackers and a bag of the De La Rosa Giant Marshmallows. Check back next week for four more relatively local camping trips that are fun for the whole fam.

3. Visit family. You won’t want to do it once the weather gets cold and hibernation begins.

2. Dine at an outdoor restaurant. Test out the decks. In Wormleysburg, it’s simple and the sunset over the river is complimentary. Everyone has their favorite al fresco favorite.

1. Have a cookout. Fire up the old Webber charcoal grill and invite some company. Gather some friends, family or the couple down the street and flip open How to Empress Your Friends and Neighbors 101. Having people over to the house is more fun when they don't actually have to go into the house.

The day you’ve been waiting for is approaching. That cruise to Barbados is just one short month away. Stick your feet inside your shoes, and you can almost feel the soft grains of volcanic sand squish between your toes… But first, the kid or kids have gotta go. And stay gone. How can you ensure they won’t return home the first weekend of freshman year? Send ‘em prepared. So get them started on the laundry routine and stocked up on all the college essentials. Here's a starter list.

Bedspreads, Sheets & Pillows

Most college beds call for twin extra long. If you opt out of the pricey college bedding packages they send through the schools, you should be able to pick all of this stuff up at any of the major stores; Bed Bath and Beyond, Target, Ikea, etc. Choices are scarce in this size and a little difficult to find, so start looking early. When it comes to the comforter, remind your student to pick something that won’t become quickly outdated. Who knows when David Beckham will be back on the field and Lil Wayne might never get out of jail. This baby will likely be with you for your entire college career.

Get Comfy

Find a carpet. Dorm floors are cold and heartless. Run over to Ollie’s or check out Craigslist, Ikea or a relative’s basement. To solve the dungeon lighting problem, brighten up the place with a floor lamp from Target or Ikea. Spice it up, or keep it simple. A desk/reading lamp is a must. The desk chairs provided are usually extremely uncomfortable. To promote good study habits, pick up a cushion, or a new chair all together. Don’t forget a fan, even if the room has AC. College kids require ventilation. 

If your kid bunks or lofts his or her bed, futons are great for fen-shui and accommodating group study sessions. Craigslist is the spot for good deals. (Don’t you dare buy a brand new futon). Or, choose a smaller, lighter, futon spin-off. Target's got a ton of alternatives (starting at $99.99). Check Craigslist first. (FYI: the Mali Flex Futons are very light and fluffy. The padding isn’t very firm.)

TV and AV

If your student can’t go 24 hours without touching God Of War 3, or watching E!’s Chelsea Lately and hourly Lohan updates, either dig one up from your basement or check out BestBuy. H.H. Gregg has some great deals too. All the electronics flyers in the Sunday Paper offer DVD players, but pick up a Playstation or X-Box for a better deal. It's about the same price and you get game-compatibility. Playstation 3 also includes a blue-ray player and X-Box 360 integrates with Netflix. Cable works differently from school to school.

Laptop

Get a Mac. End of story. If you have any questions, read the ratings in Consumer Report: Best and Worst Computers page 30. Only exception; if Towson’s paying you to buy the PC then HP makes some nice machines. 13” will be more than enough.

If you are compromised and do get stuck with a Windows box, invest in a laptop cooling pad. You don’t want the sucker over-heating. Or do you? Go ahead and replace it with Apple’s finest.

Don’t forget a pen/flash drive. Anything will do. 16G’s are probably unnecessary, unless computing systems or film is your major and you plan on transporting your entire portfolio daily. You can find these at Walmart, RadioShack, OfficeMax, Staples, anywhere. They put the bunny population to shame.

Kitchen Equipment

Depending on how equipped the dorm kitchen is, purchasing a toaster or microwave might be a good idea. Or my favorite, the toaster oven. Toast your traditional bagel, throw in a pizza, or re-crisp those McDonald’s fries that went cold too fast. (No, really. It works). Be sure to read up on the rules though. Some dorm floors don't have kitchens and many schools won't allow toaster ovens in dorm rooms. You should be safe with a microwave. Plastic reusable utensils are also nice, running only 20 bucks for a basic set of glasses, bowls and plates at Target. Or bring the dorm kitchen+ right to your room with the KitchenAid Tools and Gadgets pack. (Disclaimer: Target’s lying to you. This is not a ‘must-have’. Don’t fall for the blender either, unless you’re an, um… smoothie fanatic). Think about where you will have to wash everything. Clean up isn’t fun in the community bathrooms. Some colleges provide refrigerators in the rooms. If they don’t, ask around. Someone might have one up for grabs or at a reduced price. If your search comes to no avail, check out the ingenious whiteboard mini fridge.

Things Not to Let Them Forget:

Drying rack, laundry basket, detergent, standing or over-the-door mirror, a shower bucket and a few towels, posters, speakers/stereo/iHome and a storage plan. There are a million different options for storing things; shelves, drawers, boxes, check out what’s out there and tailor your solution to fit the student's room.

And last but not least…

Cool Things to Spoil Your Child With

TV trays, lap desks, futons more than $250, a $300 executive chair, 50” flatscreens, an additional desktop computer or a second monitor, an iphone or ipod touch. Of course, don't forget The Credit Card.

When you get back from Barbados, don’t forget to send a care package! No matter what your student says, life will be very hard without you.

1. Lititz Rotary Craft Show: Saturday, August 14 at Lititz Springs Park, Lititz
2. Hanover Dutch Festival: Saturday, July 31 in downtown Hanover
3. Dauphin County Jazz Festival: September 11 & 12 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
4. Sunset Series: "Monster's vs. Aliens": Saturday, July 31 at Wiconisco Creek and Natural Recreation Area
5. Fort Hunter Day: Sunday, September 19 at Fort Hunger Mansion
6. Captain Sig Hansen: Wednesday, September 22 at the Pullo Center, York
7. Marysville Lions Carnival: August 2–7 at Lions Park, Marysville
8. PrideFest of Central PA: July 31 & August 1 in Riverfront Park, Harrisburg
9. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
10. 5th Annual George F. Hempt Memorial Polo Match: Saturday, AUgust 14 at Hempt Farms, Mechanicsburg

--

I consider myself to be a cultured guy, but I don't get musical theater. It's so awfully contrived. All the singing and dancing usually seems to be the substitute for a well thought-out and engaging story. I've wrriten about how I enjoyed seeing Spring Awakening at the Hershey Theatre, and I've seen other musicals that I didn't mind. My wife took me to see Aida when it swung through State College and that was okay. I saw Hairspray once too, and that was alright, I guess. I suppose I don't hate musical theater; it's just not one of my favorites.

But there is one piece of musical theater that I really, really dislike. Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe it's so unbelievably beautiful that I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Whatever the reason, I absolutely cannot tolerate Cats.

This is relevant because the touring production of the show is about to stop at the Hershey Theatre. I'd rather use Tabasco as contact solution then sit though that catastrophe again.

Don't get me wrong; the Hershey Theatre is great. They bring in outstanding shows and events on a regular basis and the people that work there are great. This is in no way a reflection on them or on the theatre. It's also not a reflection on T. S. Eliot, who is probably my favorite poet or on Andrew Lloyd Webber, who certainly seems to have done okay for himself.

It's a reflection on Cats.

I went to see Cats a few years ago and thought I was being punked. There's no plot. There's no character development. There's no action. There's just a lot of creepy theater majors skulking around the stage in oversized Halloween costumes hissing at one another. Everyone refers to everything in the third person. It's odd.

There were two highlights of the version I went to see. First, the actress who played Grizabella sang the reprise of "Memory" spine-tinglingly well. Second, one of the cats/actors fell off of a raised piece of the set in mid-snarl. It was absolutely fantastic.

There are so many things wrong with Cats. The vocabulary and names in the show are absolutely maddening. They say the word "jellicle" about 11 million times. That's irritating enough to start. A sampling of other claws-on-the-blackboard names; Munkustrap, Rumpelteazer and Old Deuteronomy. The music is lame. The story is lame. Ugh.

But people seem to love Cats. It's been on Broadway, on stage in London and touring throughout the world seemingly since the dawn of time. So if you want to go see Cats, please go. Don't let me stop you. Far be it from me. Enjoy the Jellicle Ball!

Meow.

Last week, Kim filled us in on the joys of having friends with boats. She's right — it is glorious. But it got me thinking about the many other opportunities Central Pennsylvanians have to get out on the water even if they aren't blessed with friends who are blessed with boats. I think sometimes we take the amazing aquatic ecosystems we have here for granted.

The Susquehanna and Juniata Rivers are absolutely gorgeous. So are stretches of the Yellow Breeches and Conodoguinet creeks. Many local state parks include large lakes, and at Codorus State Park's Lake Marburg, you can even rent pontoon boats and party barges. There are a number of local businesses that offer canoe and kayak rentals, and it seems like there are a lot of events — many of them quite affordable — coming down the pike that include some paddling. We've compiled a handy-dandy list after the jump.

Conestoga Canoe Trip
Saturday, July 24
Lancaster County Central Park, Lancaster

Free Kayaking for Beginners
Saturday, July 24
Pine Grove Furnace State Park, Gardners

Full Moon Float
Sunday, July 25
Susquehanna Outfitters, Harrisburg

Come and Kayak
Saturday, July 31
Colonel Denning State Park, Newville

Kayak Long Pine Run Reservoir
Sunday, August 8
Kings Gap Environmental Education Center, Huntsdale

Morning Paddle
Saturday, August 14
Little Buffalo State Park, Juniata

Free Kayaking for Beginners
Saturday, August 14
Pine Grove Furnace State Park, Gardners

Around the Islands Paddle Evening Rendevous
Saturday, August 14
Shank's Mare Outfitters, Wrightsville

Historic Canoe Trip
Saturday, August 14
Fort Hunter Park, Harrisburg

Evening Kayak Paddle
Tuesday, August 22
Little Buffalo State Park, Juniata

Full Moon Float
Tuesday, August 24
Susquehanna Outfitters, Harrisburg

Kayak Long Pine Run Reservoir
Sunday, September 19
Kings Gap Environmental Education Center, Huntsdale

Full Moon Paddle Evening Rendezvous
Friday, August 27
Shank's Mare Outfitters, Wrightsville

Full Moon Float
Thursday, September 23
Susquehanna Outfitters, Harrisburg

Petroglyph Canoe Trip
Saturday, September 25
Wildwood Park, Harrisburg

1. Lititz Rotary Craft Show: Saturday, August 14 at Lititz Springs Park, Lititz
2. Mango Men in Concert: Sunday, July 25 at Fort Hunter Mansion, Harrisburg
3. PrideFest of Central PA: July 31–August 1 in Riverfront Park, Harrisburg
4. 27th Annual Hanover Dutch Festival: Saturday, July 31 in downtown Hanover
5. Lititz Springs Outdoor Art Show: Saturday, July 31 at Lititz Springs Park, Lititz
6. Marysville Lions Carnival: August 2–7 at Lions Park, Marysville
7. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
8. Argentina Wine Tasting/Pairing: Sunday, July 25 at Bricco, Harrisburg
9. El Sol Wines of Spain Dinner: Thursday, August 12 at El Sol Mexican Restaurant, Harrisburg
10. Lebanon Area Fair: July 24–31 at the Lebanon Valley Expo Center & Fairgrounds, Lebanon

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Welcome home, and congratulations! Your family has become part of the 2010 season of boardwalk hermit crab trafficking. Little Jimmy in the glossy, baseball cap shell sits peering up at you from the confines of his chicken wire bungalow, begging for attention. I know; he's cute, real cute. But do you know what little Jimmy's trying to tell you with the beady stare?

Forget the salesman back at Sunsations, down in OC. Did you really think this purchase through? If your beach trip is still on the horizon, are you prepared for the hermit crab question? Before you give into the temper tantrum, or throw one for yourself, do some research and read the HCA (Hermit Crab Association) approved websites.

Did you know that specialists call for specialized housing? A 10-gallon aquarium works well as a starter home, with sand or coconut fiber bedding, deep enough to burrow in. Hermit crabs thrive on a full range of foods including fruits, meats, veggies and an occasional corn chip or pretzel. Water should be served from a shell, for vital calcium intake. The 2% of the time they don't spend sleeping, your hermit crabs will want to play—play hard. So endless supplies of friends and toys are necessary. If they don't have a new toy for every day of the month, the HCA will come for you and confiscate your crabs.

Hermit crabs love warm, humid weather. Harrisburg’s close to the coast, but not close enough. It's your job to make sure the aquarium stays above 72˙F, and 70% humidity. Your beach babies would also like a pool, but no deeper than your smallest crab. The crab might drown. To avoid crab drowning, a sponge and pebbles are required precautions. Keep in mind though, different species have specific needs. Coenobita brevimanus have a water-phobia, but others like Coenobita perlatus won’t last 24 hours without salt water access.

Hermit crabs also molt, requiring a few days of alone time in a pre-setup hospital area where they can shed and browse from at least five new shells to choose from. And be warned, poor treatment will lead to hermit crab depression, causing them to leave their shells. This is serious stuff.

"Whatever abusive hermit crab care ideas you had of leaving them to die in their little wire prison, throw them out the window. This is a full-time, 24/7 commitment animal. A big responsibility, not some throw-away pet," says the HCA's website.

But all the precautions in the world still may not save your hermit crab. Wayne is still a sore subject for me, though I try to remember the great three weeks we spent together. I gave him friends, Joker and Paula, a beautiful crabitat, complete with a pool, sponge, climbing wall and hourly misting. Sadly, it was not enough, and yesterday he reached too deep of a depression to remain in his shell. Ironically, it was only after I was swayed by these demanding websites to relocate them from their cute little lime green carrier to a 'more adequate home' that they all started going downhill.

I am not telling you to ignore the irresistible little critters on your beach vacation. If your kids are as smitten as I was, let them try their hand at caring for a new pet. When you walk past the Hermit House, stop and admire all the pretty shells and pick out one that fits you. Go ahead, pick two or three more. Enjoy your crabs while you have them. Shower them with love in whichever kind of housing you choose. Even following the step-by-step instructions religiously won't guarantee them forever. So don't stress about it. Do what you can, what's reasonable. Just enjoy your stay at the beach, and guiltlessly indulge yourself with a new decapod companion to bring back to the burg.

I'm tempted to say that Pennsylvania finally has real casinos. We're getting closer. For a few years now we've had virgin daiquiri casinos. Slot machines do not a casino make. Slots-only casinos are gambling's version of Cinemax late night—all the guilt, sleaze and desperation without any real excitement.

Miraculously, Pennsylvania realized that throwing money down a slot machine quarters at a time is no better or worse than hemorrhaging money at a blackjack table $10 to $15 dollars at a time. Well, really the legislature just needed more money, but let's ignore that for a minute. No matter what the motivation, consenting adults can now go play table games atop some of the world's ugliest carpet just up I-81. I think most of us can agree that's a good thing.

Unfortunately, if you want to play, you still have to pay for drinks, and that's beyond lame.

In June, Hollywood Casino produced a gross revenue of $20.6 million dollars. That's staggering. That's money that came directly out of the pockets of Central Pennsylvania residents. Sure, not all of it was from gambling. There are conference facilities and restaurants and valet parking and a million other nickel and dime expenses. Part of that $20.6 million came from alcohol sales too, and that's pretty sorry.

In reading newspapers from across the state, it's clear that most of the casinos in Pennsylvania have no problem charging players to drink. A few offer drinks to people playing at big money tables, but if anything, that's more insulting.

$20.6 million in a month, and I have to pay $5 for a watered down Gordon's Gin and Tonic.

You don't pay for drinks in Vegas. Hell, you don't pay for drinks in Atlantic City and it's practically a shanty-town filled with pawnshops. I've been to Hollywood Casino twice, and both times I've been less than impressed with atmosphere. When you go to a casino, it should feel special. It should feel glitzy. You should feel like part of the Rat Pack. Did Joey Bishop pay for drinks it Vegas? Not a chance.

I'm glad that the state has warmed up to table games because you can't do anything at Hollywood Casino that you can't do online. Unfortunately, the operators have decided that since they don't have to act like a real casino to attract a crowd, they won't bother. It's disappointing, but wholly unsurprising. Personally, if I'm looking for a guys night out, I'd still rather drive a few hours to the Borgata.

1. Lititz Rotary Craft Show: Saturday, August 14 at Lititz Springs Park, LItitz
2. Fort Halifax Music Festival: Saturday, July 17 at Fort Halifax, Halifax
3. 27th Annual Hanover Dutch Festival: Saturday, July 31 in downtown Hanover
4. Lititz Springs Outdoor Art Show: Saturday, July 31 at Lititz Springs Park, Lititz
5. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
6. Butterfly Festival at Hershey Gardens: Saturday, July 17 at Hershey Gardens, Hershey
7. A Taste of Hummelstown: Monday, July 19 in Center Square, Hummelstown
8. 53rd Annual Shippensburg Community Fair: July 26–31 at the Shippensburg Fairgrounds, Shippensburg
9. Marysville Lions Carnival: August 2–7 at Lions Park, Marysville
10. Kayak Long Pine Run Reservoir: Sunday, August 8 at Kings Gap Environmental Education Center, Huntsdale

--

On a cool, breezy Thursday evening, I stepped aboard a friend’s pontoon boat for its maiden voyage on the Susquehanna. Armed with the ever-popular Polka Dot Riesling, I snagged a seat near the starboard bow and waited for the journey to begin. We made our way down the river as the sun began to settle into the mountains. It’s red and purple rays danced across the water in calming, therapeutic rhythms. Instantly, I felt the escape from my daily grind.

The views of the cityscape, mixed with the contours of each passing bridge were, in two words: truly picturesque. From the deck of the pontoon boat, Harrisburg was a different place. No pompous politicians, no cranky businessmen, just the Capital City scenery in all its glory.  

On this particular night the river was still, but on popular days for partygoers, the water attracts a melting pot of personalities. From families to frat parties, I’ve seen my fair share of the strange and unusual. Take for instance the finer art of party-boatbuilding—when one boat simply isn’t enough, a series of boats are strung together to form one keg-standin’ good time. Sorry boys, inflatable beer pong tables can’t withstand the current of the mighty Susquehanna.

However you choose to celebrate, the bottom line is this: if you need to getaway, consider finding friends with boats. It’s cheaper than therapy and produces the same results.
If you’re really a go-getter, consider making the investment yourself. Summer-long docking fees are quite reasonable – the cost to store your boat at the City Island Marinas is less than the price of a parking spot in the 2^nd Street garage. The fee even includes offseason storage for the wintery months. 

The actual cost of purchasing a boat can be pricy. But like any offseason find you can get a good deal by shopping around. I’ve heard stories of great success with Craigslist, but it’s still a hefty investment.  If all else fails, take a walk through the Marina and post offers on the boats that look like they’ve never left the dock.

Or forget the idea of boat ownership entirely and take the easy way out. Make friends with people who own boats. They are in high demand and short supply, but they’re out there. Find yourself a good one and get set for a summer on the water.

And one final tip for the ladies: when planning your next boat ride make it wine, not beer or you’ll find yourself in a serious bathroom bind.  

Imagine yourself crawling into an inflated hamster ball 11-feet in diameter. It's hot. Real hot. Might even beat the back seat of the Dodge caravan baking out in the parking lot. Five gallons of fresh cold water come to the rescue, sloshing around the bottom, but now they're zipping up the hatch. Your nerves are tweaking you. This is it. You and the mountain. It's the culmination of your day. You're inside the H2OGO. And now they're pushing you over.

Ski Roundtop's summer adventure package includes a variety of wet and dry outdoor activities. All ages are welcome, and my trip proved even your mother can have a great time. Nancy and I hit the Tree House Zips first. The set of 100-ft zips are a kid favorite. Once you're strapped in, you climb up cargo nets to reach the 3-story tree house summit. Choose lane 1, 2, 3 or 4, latch on, and ride away. The immediate drop in the beginning is the killer. On your pendulum descent the automatic belaying system lowers you down. Then it's back up the cargo nets for as many rides as you please.

The frenzy of impatient adolescent zip fans were a riot up in the tree house. We asked a little Max how many times he'd gone down. Looking to his hands he guessed ten, realizing that's all the counters he had. The whole tree house company cheered, coaxing six-year old Alu on line 3, who wouldn't push off with the rest of the group. A staff member commented that the mother could push him off, but he couldn't because of liability. Up came mom and down went Alu laughing all the way to the bottom.

Next stop was the bumper boat pool, Nancy's favorite. The bumper boats are manufactured with two purposes in mind, represented by two buttons; 'squirt' and 'GO!'. Riders hold down 'GO' to get the boat going—using the handles to steer—and the 'squirt' for the water. Bumper boats are a little difficult to maneuver, so a fast get-away is out of the question. Prepare to get soaked. My group decided to team up on the operator sitting on the dock. Unfortunately, she had a SUPER SOAKER XP-215 locked and loaded, and she owned us all.

After working up an appetite, we stopped in the base camp and enjoyed a tasty pizza lunch on the new deck. A perfect view of the hamster happy trails runway gave us a cruel reminder of what was still to come. Next, a visit to The Woods provided an assortment of challenges; a low ropes course, series of mini zip lines and a few rock walls. To prepare us for the finale, Nancy and I took a few tubing trips down the traditional snow tube course.

Then it was time for the death ball.

Roundtop's adventure package includes one free experience in an OGO. Choose your match: H2OGO or the IGO. I chose the water ball. If you thought the idea of the hamster ball was crazy, IGO straps you to the wall, spinning you with the ball all the way down the hill.

The H2OGO thrill ride was easily the highlight of my day. Nancy wanted to go again. Some suicide riders even stand up and run with the thing. If you're not so into it, you can take a complimentary ski-lift ride to cool down, but I guarantee one trip in the OGO and you'll be begging for more. Single OGO rides are $20, but as part of the $30 adventure package the price isn't so steep. Also, after your first ride, each additional ride is only $10.

For the ambitious group with sweat to spare, the Vertical Trek sounded like a crowd favorite. The two-hour+ trail takes you down the mountain in a maze of zips and cargo net climbs for $60 a person. Overall, it seems like Ski Roundtop has made itself an exciting place for everyone, any time of the year. Stop by for an afternoon Wednesdays through Sundays.

One rule. YOU go in the OGO.

1. Hanover Dutch Festival: Saturday, July 31 in downtown Harrisburg
2. Bluegrass on the Grass: Saturday, July 10 at Dickinson College
3. Lititz Rotary Craft Show: Saturday, August 14 at Lititiz Springs Park, Lititiz
4. Carlisle Summerfair: Through July 10 in downtown Carlisle
5. Yorkfest Arts Festival: August 28 & 29 in downtown York
6. Lititz Springs Outdoor Art Show: Saturday, July 31 at Lititz Springs Park, Lititz
7. Peter Pan: July 8–11 at the Gretna Theatre, Mount Gretna
8. Perry County Fair: August 19–24 at the Perry County Fairgrounds, Newport
9. Comedian Jerry Seinfeld: Friday, July 9 at the Sovereign Center, Reading
10. Harrisburg City Islanders vs. Real Maryland: Saturday, July 10 at the Skyline Sports Complex, Harrisburg

--

Fourth of July weekend has come and gone. It was a scorcher, but the heat didn't really seem to get in the way of too many people's plans. Spotobe always sees a huge traffic spike around the 4th of July as local readers search out fireworks shows and other entertainment options. Despite the heat, this year was no different. In fact, the 4th of July was Spotobe's single-highest day of traffic it its history. I know you don't care, but I'm making that point to make this one: It appears as though the Harrisburg Jazz and Multicultural Festival was an even bigger bomb than most people expected.

In the interest of full disclosure, I didn't go to the festival. Neither did almost anyone that I know. And that's just the thing; nobody went. I've seen pictures, I've watched video and I've talked to the few people that did attend, and it all looks pretty grim. If there was any doubt left, Monday night's story on WGAL 8 filled with quotes from angry vendors should have cleared it up. I'd embed the piece here, but WGAL doesn't allow that. Go watch it and then come back. I'll wait.

A few things from that piece jump out at me. First of all, the assertion that the event has drawn 300,000 people per year in the past is a complete sham. I'm sorry, I just don't buy it. This year, the ticketed entry to Patriot-News Artsfest made it clear that the attendance figures for past iterations of that event have been grossly overstated, so it's not surprising that the numbers for what was American MusicFest have been padded as well. Also, it's interesting that never once in the WGAL piece is it mentioned that the name and focus of the event changed this year. Odd.

There are a number of excuses that will be offered up by the event organizers, but I wouldn't be shocked if the Harrisburg Jazz and Multi-Cultural Festival isn't on the city calendar next year. Just like the Levitt Live! series and Italian Lake Concert series aren't this year. That's dumb, because there's no reason Harrisburg can't have a self-sustaining music festival over Fourth of July weekend. It already had that. It was called American MusicFest, and as much as I hated it as a music fan, it was an unqualified success with the community. The people that organized it took the time to make sure it came off. As local blogger and media darling Jersey Mike said last week, the people that organized this year's event just didn't have a clue.

This event can be fixed. Hell, it needed to be fixed before the name and focus change. The City of Harrisburg should be committed to putting on three great events each summer, not just giving people an excuse to eat fatty food in Riverfront park. The other day I was talking to someone who has attended Patriot-News Artsfest for years running. She said she probably won't be going back next year. It's gotten stale and there are better options in the area. It's sad, but it's true.

Here's what's most frustrating; you can't help but feel that if this event happened in Lancaster, it would be a heck of a lot better. The City of Harrisburg doesn't play nice with others. It never has. There are so many people around here who are capable and probably willing to help Harrisburg organize a great music festival, but they'll never be asked.

Does the City of Harrisburg have more important things to worry about right now? Sure. But if you're not going to try to do something different, don't do anything at all. You have to wonder if next summer, the city might do just that.

Nervous sweat beaded under cotton, fan-made Team Edward and Team Jacob T-shirts long after the 10, 5, 2 and 1-minute countdowns in the sardine-packed Theater 2 of the Cinema Center in Camp Hill. Breath was still being held even after midnight, and by 12:03 we'd all gone into a frenzy. A hungry audience threw shouts and popcorn at the poor doorman in the red shirt with the radio until 12:17 am when the movie finally began.

Twilight was a soaped up Edward/Bella prelude, doused in a handful of awkward moments. New Moon was soaked in Jake and drama, and after watching Bella struggle with depression for two and a half hours I was starting to question my own existence on the way out of the theater. As the previews started, my hand reached the greasy bottom of the popcorn bucket. Trailers rolled for more Harry Potter, Paranormal Activity, and Narnia movies (don't these people stop?), and all I could think was, Stephanie Meyer, it's your third. It's about time for some action.

The malevolent, red-headed Victoria is back, (the new face takes some getting used too) plotting to avenge her lover from the first film. It's mate-for-mate in the vampire community, so it's Bella's head back on the chopping block. While competing for Bella's affection, Jake and Edward must join forces for the well-being of their prize. Also thrown into the magical mix is a 'newborn army'; a group of young, uncontrollable bloodsuckers bred solely for their thirst for a taste of Bella Swan.

Fans might be surprised with this year's dose of Twilight, as Eclipse clearly raises the bar from the last two productions. In the first two minutes, someone gets mauled. Then Emmett and two wolves snarl down a territorial dispute. Newborns tear through a car full of humans. By the time Jake and Edward shared the screen, I was out of my seat yelling "fight, fight, FIGHT!"

Eclipse gives you a nice blend of romance and action, balancing the film between bone—or should I say, stone—snapping-werewolf action and vampire love accompanied by a bare-chested Taylor Lautner every other scene. Once the screaming died down and my ears stopped ringing I found myself asking the same question as Edward; does this guy own a shirt? Bella's father Charlie continues his charming, still struggling-with-the-reigns shtick, dishing out some classic lines on his daughter's "unhealthy attachment." Siblings Jasper and Rosaline share flashback introductions, thickening the Cullen’s mysterious family history. The only thing fanatics may miss is the old twilight music theme from the first installment—there's no sweet piano melody in this baby.

The $9.25 ticket is still questionable, however, much more tolerable this 3rd time around. Even the non-twilight following companion you bring along to the theater can appreciate a good love triangle tangled in a pound of tension with plenty of fang bearing, claw-clashing and blood-sucking to back it up.

@twoitterings is a local tweeter who, from time to time, produces streams of conciousness that are both frigthening and hilarious to behold. He's recently been having relationship problems with one of downtown Harrisburg's longest-tenured establishments. Here's what he's got to say:

Stocks on 2nd, I used to love you so. You were my first in Harrisburg; a pioneer on the scene. A place where just a little bit of that big city feel could be found at happy hour. But that was so long ago. You see, Stocks, you’ve gotten comfortable. You’ve gotten complacent. Don’t get me wrong, there are still some flickers of light. The bartending staff is great, and a few of the servers are top notch. But that’s just the thing, out of many mediocre aspects there are a few points of light. It supposed to be the other way around.

Stocks, how can this be? I mean, I get that it’s probably never going to be a place where “everybody knows your name.” But seriously, you’d think that after the amount of time we’ve spent together, day in and day out, that you’d at least remember mine. It just feels like you’ve been mailing it in for far too long. It’s time for a change. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into ugly divorces; I’m into counseling. Allow me to offer some timely observations.

1. The menu needs to be improved. I know you change it up every so often, but let’s be honest, the wares have gotten a little tired. I know you’re no longer in your twenties. You’ve gotten a little tired, but the food quality of late varies wildly. Life is like a box of chocolates, but my white bean chicken chili shouldn’t be.

2. The experience needs to be polished. Here’s the deal, I don’t mind spending $100 on a dinner, but in this town it better be the whole enchilada, and I’m not talking El Rodeo here. Give me a real menu that’s clean. Actually, you can start by actually giving me a menu. Greet diners with a hello sir or ma'am. That can go a long way to making a good impression, much more so than “here you go buddy.” I may look young, but I’m from the old school when it comes to that sort of thing.

3. Greet me like you know me, because you do. C’mon, we’re not strangers here. I’m not your mother for sure, but with the amount of business my colleagues and I bring you, we could be your daddy. What I’m saying is that treating us a little special on occasion would be a treat, but it shouldn’t be.

Lest you think this is your entire fault, it’s not. I know we’re probably some of your more unconventional guests. Sure, we order things that aren’t on the menu from time to time and this brings me to what I still cherish about our relationship. Three words: The bartending staff. They’re great, they know our drinks, they accommodate our special menu requests—everything about them is awesome. I need more of them in my life. Stocks, you need more of them in your establishment. For their sake, I will continue to come. I’ll do my part to work out our differences. But, I’ve got to tell you, the more we move apart, the more that hot, little Italian redhead across the street sounds appealing. I don’t want it to be like that though, slinking around, getting my meatballs from others, so please view this letter as a way of helping me, help you.