Misleading the Drinking Public

The above statement is a lie. A more charitable man might say that it's actually more of a stretch of the truth, but if that's the case, it's not a stretch like you stretch your hamstring. It's a stretch like the dungeon master put truth on the rack and started cranking away. Harrisburg certainly doesn't want for Irish Pubs, but if you plan on going to one of the Downtown After Dark Bars next Tuesday in hopes of drinking for free, make sure you take at least $15.

See, technically you can drink for free at Sawyer’s Cantina, Sam Bucca’s Pizza Pub, Bourbon Street Saloon and the Harrisburg Hardware Bar on Saint Patty’s Day. Then again, technically you ride for free when you go to Hersheypark, you just pay $40 to get through the gates. In this case, your three hours of free drinking will cost you $15. Your hard-earned cash also gets you a t-shirt, a party yard and a survival kit (Excedrin Migraine and a Gatorade?). Really, if you go out anywhere else you’re probably going to end up spending just as much if not more, but if they’re going to wallpaper downtown Harrisburg with signs offering free drinks, they’re inviting scrutiny. Didn’t you think that anyone was going to notice?

If your delicate sensibilities are offended by such crass promotion, you have plenty of other options. The Coliseum kicks things off by starting the revelry at 5:00am. 105.7 the X will be broadcasting live for part of the day, and the party will include plenty of live music, Guitar Hero tournaments, poker tournaments and giveaways. Flinchy’s, Molly’s, and the Harp & Fiddle in York all get started at 7:00am, and all three are offering some kind of breakfast you can ingest to help get that early morning Guinness down. So does McGrath’s, and they get going at 8:00am. Hey, it will be five o’clock in Ireland by then, right? Wait…

In the evening, T. Brendan O’Reilly’s gets things going, and the aforementioned Bar Crawl commences. The Harrisburg location of Appalachian Brewing Company will have Irish Band Celtica on stage and the West Shore Hardware Bar has Vanilla Ice. Why are you laughing?

There are plenty of other great places to have a pint on St. Patty’s. Shady McGrady’s, Garrason’s and Ceolta’s all work in Harrisburg, and Coakley’s or Market Cross Pub (technically English, but what the heck?) are good options on the West Shore. Annie Bailey’s is probably your best bet in Lancaster, and if you can get to State College, The Phyrst is always a good time. “We are table number three, number three, number three, we are table number three, where the hell is at the wall?” Good times.

Have a great weekend everyone.