A Potentially Epic Embarrassment
I try to be as funny as possible in this space, after all, the internet is all about snark these days, right? Hopefully if you read my ramblings regularly, you’ve found them good for a ha, maybe even a haha. Well, if you’d like to see me raise the bar to an entirely different level, come watch my performance in the Harrisburg Open.
That’s tennis, folks.
I don’t know if I was good enough in my prime to even qualify for “washed-up” status now, but during my school years I did play three sports with varying degrees of success. I consider myself to be a lousy baseball player, a decent basketball player and a pretty solid soccer player. Nevertheless, I am in unequivocally awful shape. I play soccer and basketball occasionally, but I do both with as little expenditure of energy as possible.
Still, for some reason when I saw an ad for the Harrisburg Open on some flier from the City of Harrisburg earlier this summer, I felt compelled to enter. My plan was to take my loyal readers (all three of them) through my preparations for the tournament. That hasn’t really happened. As it stands, the tournament is a few weeks from now, and this is the first I’ve mentioned it.
My third week of tennis lessons starts tonight, and I have definitely made some progress. At this point, I’m probably an above average player, but I still have the sneaking suspicion that my opponents in the Open will be more above-average than me. My coach, Tom, keeps reminding me that it’s just for fun, which is probably his way of telling me I shouldn’t really plan on winning. The beautiful/horrible thing about an open tournament is that it all comes down to the draw. I could end up playing you in the first round, and you might totally stink. I could also end up playing your friend in the first round, and he might have played a little bit of tennis in college. Seeing as how I am chronically competitive, I’m quite nervous.
The only reason that I’m mentioning it at all at this point is because I’ve found the process to be extremely cathartic. I miss preparing my body to compete. This site is all about getting out and doing things, and this is a thing that I am getting out and doing. I realize that I might end up getting my butt kicked, but I’m okay with that (if any of you are interested in witnessing said butt kicking, I’ll let you know when my first match is as soon as I find out.) This was kind of a spontaneous thing that I decided to do on a whim, and I’ve found it really fun. My sense is that most everyone is stuck by random urges like this from time to time, and in the past, I’ve rarely acted on them. I’m not sure why I did this time, but for what it’s worth, I’m glad I did.
5 comments so far. Sweet.
Maybe your resemblance to Andy Roddick will intimidate your opponents. Yeah, that's it. Register as Justin Roddick and you will be halfway to your first win before you walk onto the court!
Don't worry, it really is just for fun. Good luck! At least you've had some lessons from Tom!
At least you are preparing for the tournament! I haven't done a thing to prepare or get in shape yet! You'll have more of a fighting chance than I will, even with high school and college tennis experiences under my aging belt.
As one of the three loyal followers of said snarkiness, I'm curious -- was that gigantic plate of El Rodeo deliciousness you shoved down Saturday night supposed to help you on your serve or backhand while you're preparing your body for battle?
I'm definitely interested in witnessing said butt-kicking! I can't believe YOU have taken up TENNIS...